PASSWORD PLEASE

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This is a chapter from CHAOS- The Manual Protect Yourself and Your ASSETS from Chaos by Michael A. Babiarz, JD & Ann M. Babiarz.

Tis always the season for CHAOS.  Here are a few tips and pointers for you if it happens strike you.

 

I’m old enough to remember the original incarnation of the game show Password. Airing from the early to late 1960s, it featured a voiceover announcer who told the TV viewers, in hushed tones, the answer to a particular puzzle that the contestant and his or her celebrity partner attempted to solve.57 On those few occasions when I was violently ill enough for my mother to allow me to miss school, I chose daytime game shows over soap operas for my TV viewing, as I nestled under a blanket on the living room sofa. Perhaps this is why I have mixed feelings whenever I see a television quiz show today. It brings back memories of being sick. I can’t enjoy lemon-lime soda either; Mom thought flat versions of this drink settled a grade schooler’s grumpy tummy.

Nevertheless, I believe if you queried the average man or woman on the street as to what memory the word “password” conjures, few would mention the old broadcast program. For most of us, a password is something we use to access our own personal accounts on a myriad of websites. And, if you’re like me, you forget at least one of these login phrases every three months or so.

Many sites require you to answer questions designed to give you hints about your password, or to provide additional security:

  • What middle school did you attend? • What was the model of your first car? • Name your favorite food?
  •  In feet and inches, how tall are you?

To the security questions. From my completely unscientific study, this seems to be more of a male thing. Perhaps if the websites made the questions more “man-friendly”, I would have a better chance of remembering my digital IDs:

  • What was the name of the bully who gave you wedgies in middle school?
  • What is the model of the car in which you had your first sexual experience?
  • What is the greatest number of hot chicken wings you have consumed in a single sitting?
  • How many inches has your waist size increased since high school graduation?

 

My wife Ann and I modified our passwords for our zillions of logins, using three factors. First, we would try to coordinate these phrases so that we would limit them to several, rather than numerous, “open sesame” monikers. Second, we would change these passwords regularly. And third, we would create “strong” passwords. A strong password combines capital and small letters, misspelled words, other characters and numbers. For example:

  • ChEEpD8?
  • eyeEEt2#s
  • 1&onlyEE58

Prior, however, we were like most couples. Our passwords were a hodgepodge of created-on-the-spot pseudonyms. This came back to haunt us when Ann fell ill.

The precursors to her ultimate malady were a series of strokes. One of the chaotic clots must have damaged the neural lodgings where memories of several passwords were contained. For a time, she could not remember the login to her computer, which she entered several times daily prior to the onset of her illness. However, she had the forethought to create a digital file of all of our passwords, which she e-mailed to me. Unfortunately, I dutifully tucked that file away in a folder on my system, and then promptly forgot about it.

After a couple of nervous weeks, where we made do with workarounds, the magic of brain rewiring allowed Ann to once again tap into the little file within her brain where these memories were stored. Not only did she recall her Apple login, she reminded me of the password file she had earlier sent. Eureka! — I found it! — access restored and crisis averted. Although my wife prepared a listing of these essential alpha-numerics, our past practice of not coordinating and not changing these probably contributed to the fact that I didn’t remember her doing so.

Yet, in my opinion, having a list of your passwords, stored in some fashion where it is safe yet accessible, is one of the single most important factors in preparing for chaos.

You can create the file digitally, and store it where you believe it to be safe — some form of cloud storage, other secure site that exists for this purpose, digital file, encrypted perhaps, or otherwise — or you can take technology down a few notches and create a paper backup. If you change passwords frequently, print off a list of them, put it in an envelope, and toss it in your lockbox. Date it so you know which is the most current, and carefully shred, burn, or otherwise destroy past lists.

A list of passwords is what I believe to be one of the three key pieces of data that you need to have available in the event a chaotic event arrives. The second is a list of your credit card numbers and contact information to reach each account issuer. The third is a copy of the drivers license of every member of your household.

With these three sets of data at your fingertips, even if a smoking crater inhabits the piece of terra firma where your house once was, you can take temporary steps to secure cash, consumables and comfortable lodging.

In the days prior to 9-11, I used to do a lot of spur of the moment travel. Nowadays, the extra security and steps involved make this less plausible. But “back in the day”, so long as I had a drivers license and a couple of credit cards in my wallet, I could board a plane and go virtually anywhere. I always figured I could hit a local mall or big-box department store and buy what I needed when I arrived at my destination. My warped sense of pioneer spirit made me feel like I was “living off the land”, 20th century style.59

Of the big three, drivers licenses change infrequently, unless you’re a serial mover. Credit card numbers change more often than they did in the past, due no doubt to the number of times your digits get purloined. As for passwords, set up a schedule, enter it into your calendaring system, and change these on a regular basis, using several, but making sure that you and your significant other are aware of what each of you are doing. Any record of old information gets shredded or otherwise destroyed.

It goes without saying that you need a shredder, and you need it to chew up anything that contains personal information about you. Don’t ever put personal information on a social networking site. Many ask for your birth date. Put in a fake one if you have to. Remember that date of birth is one of the pieces of identifying information that medical providers now use to make sure they are dealing with the real you. Don’t give anyone the ability to easily tap that tip.

Other bits of data need to be recorded in your file — whether digital or hard copy — into which you’ve placed your passwords, drivers license copies and credit card stuff. Here is a non–inclusive list of some of the things you might consider having in an accessible yet secure place:

  • Names and contact information for doctors including specialists, dentists, and your pets’ veterinarian.
  • Name and contact information for all insurance agents. Know where all of your policies are stored. These can be paper or digital, depending upon your preference.
  • Account numbers and contact information for every financial institution, such as banks and investment accounts. If these are scattered amongst a plethora of providers, might you consider some consolidation to simplify things? Even if you don’t appreciate this, your beneficiaries/heirs will, some day . . .
  • Names and contact information for your professional team: your lawyer, accountant and coach. (You knew I was going to include the latter, didn’t you!)
  • Photographs — digital or otherwise — of your personal property. This will help establish the value of your things if you have a toaster-oven-scorched-the-house problem. This is especially critical for my wife, as no one would possibly believe that one woman could own as many articles of clothing and shoes, not to mention jewelry and accessories to complement them, as she stuffs into her closet and every other available nook and cranny.
  • Did you do a prepaid burial? If so, you need this information available. Sometimes when chaos strikes, it hits you for the last time.
  • Account numbers and contact information for your utilities, such as electric, gas, water/ sewer, phone and cable TV, should be included. I know that I would be incredibly cranky if I wasn’t able to reestablish my ability to watch football on cable TV relatively rapidly.
  • Consider having a list of medications for each member of your household available. If you’re evacuating due to a hurricane, it would suck not to be able to refill your blood pressure medication. And there’s nothing like a tropical cyclone to raise both your bottom and top BP numbers.
  • Even if you pay all of your bills online, be sure you have some paper checks from your bank’s checking account available. This was a life-saver for my household when we were temporarily unable to access online accounts due to Ann’s stroke-induced memory lapse.

Then, there are other facets of your plan to consider:

Do you have a communication scheme among your family members, including out-of- town relatives, if you are separated during some form of disaster? Various authorities suggest you have a rendezvous point if it’s a tornado-blew-apart-the-house kind of thing, as well as a single person to contact in the event it’s a more widespread concern. Remember that if your cell phone battery is low, it takes a lot less power to send a text than to make a phone call. It’s also easier to get a message through if cell towers are jammed. Consider having a text message be your default mode of contact if disaster strikes.

An emergency kit is a good idea. Things like first aid supplies, water, flashlights and batteries, a whistle, basic tools, radio and toilet paper (the last is of utmost importance) can be the difference between comfort and hardship following you-know-what hitting the fan. Your kit may look different if you live in northern Minnesota and experience blizzards, versus my neck of the woods, where a hurricane preparedness kit is apropos.

What if one member of your household is disabled? What if one is elderly, a child, or mentally challenged? These issues must be considered when creating an emergency plan. What if when chaos strikes you are at work? At school? At the local bar? Where you are physically located when chaos comes calling can be key.

I’m not going to detail lists of supplies for you, nor checklists for communication plans. FEMA already has a series of suggestions that you can download at your convenience. Simply visit www.ready.gov60 and you are good to go — literally.

In addition to my suggestions about the information you might want to gather together that I have set forth in this chapter, there are certain legal documents that you need to cover chaotic situations. This paperwork is the subject of our next chapter.

Footnotes:

57 Gwactuary, user editor, www.TV.com/shows/password (© CBS Interactive, Inc.) Accessed Friday, September 4, 2015.

58 Dear hackers: no, none of these are our current or past passwords.

59 The character, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, made a similar observation on The Big Bang Theory when he left home to ride the rails. Kaplan, E., Reynolds, J., Howe, J., writers, Cendrowski, M., director. (May 15, 2014). The Big Bang Theory, episode 159: The Status Quo Combustion, Lorre, C. & Prady, B., producers, Hollywood, CA. CBS Studios.

60 From this website you can download a family emergency plan, emergency supply lists, and information about how to prepare for emergencies, as well as brochures specific to pet owners, seniors, people with disabilities, and those who commute on public transit. Good stuff.

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