We urge you to worry.
Global warming or that funny looking mole on your shoulder? Terror plots to blow up the next flight you are on, or yet another loss by your favorite baseball team? Trillions of dollars in federal debt or your five grand credit card balance?
What are you worrying about right now? Everyday you talk to friends, listen to the radio, or watch TV news, and learn a hundred more things you should worry about. Everywhere you look, it seems, someone is urging you to worry. No wonder that prescription drugs that calm our anxieties sell so well. But here are three things you might not know about worry.
We often worry about the past. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to have entered the intersection on a yellow light when there is a camera mounted there pointed at your vehicle. We can agree with that thought. We can also agree that you already did that, and nothing you can do will change whether you get a ticket in the mail or not.
We often worry about the future. But here’s the secret. The overwhelming majority of negative things we think and worry about never come true. Want to test this? Carry around a pad of paper for a day, and every time you find yourself worrying about a future event, write it down. The first thing you will notice is that you worry about a lot a stuff! Put the pad away, write a note on your calendar for a month later, and then pull out your written “worry thoughts”. You will see that those that might have already come true in the last 30 days didn’t.
We often worry about being embarrassed. For example, a person with chronic anxiety may have a panic attack where she thinks she is going to pass out. What is often her true worry? No, it’s not that if she passes out she might hit her head and need medical attention. Rather, it is if she passes out and hits the floor, how humiliating it will be!
So what is a good antidote to worrying? The best solution, for those for whom worry is not pathologic, is living in the present moment, and not the past or future. Fully engage in whatever it is you are doing at the moment. If it is doing the dishes, then observe how clean you get them. If it quantum physics, then pay attention to your equations. If you need help with this, consult a text on Buddhist meditation practices or call a life coach. And if you need a lot of help with this, don’t be afraid to consult a therapist for talk therapy or even meds. That’s not something to fear either!