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Byte Me

(c) 2009 & 2020 Ann Babiarz & Associates LLC

It’s been several months since traditional spring cleaning.  Have you taken the time to “de-clutter” your physical space and breathe? If not, take the opportunity to continue and to reinforce the habit of cleaning your space.  The transformation of your home or office will literally transform your life!  Your expanded space will provide you with more than you realize.  It can provide some very significant clues about the who that you want to unlock to become your best you!

Today, we are going to focus on the techno-side of your world.  Because of the way we are bombarded with information on a daily basis, it’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed.  We are over-stimulated.  Constant overreliance on external information to make informed decisions puts us in the habit of looking outside of ourselves to make an “informed decision”, rather than relying on our intuition, the place where true wisdom resides.

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The Power of “NO”

(c) 2020 by Ann Babiarz & Associates LLC

It is so important to say “No” these days – because until we learn to say “No” we continue to be stressed and overwhelmed with too much to do in not enough time. And isn’t it usually our priorities (eg. our ideas, health, quality time with self or family) that suffer? Interestingly, most children go through a phase where their favorite word is “No”. That’s because No is a power word. It gives a definite sense of self. And this means that saying “No” is also an ideal opportunity to rediscover your sense of who you are! So, whether you learn to say “No” more often, or just learn to say “Yes” on your terms, release yourself from the burden of pleasing others and give yourself more time and freedom to do what matters to you.  Let me get you started with ten tips on how to best say “no”.

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Send Lawyers, Guns and Money*

Guest post by Michael A. Babiarz, J.D.**]

When might it make sense to play offense, choosing to take action against who or what caused your chaos? Should you be a plaintiff in a lawsuit? Does it make sense for you to recoup financial losses that are inflicted upon you by another’s actions?

If you seek compensation, you are typically pursuing a court action founded in either tort or contract. I taught in a college program instructing paralegal students. Two of my classes were introductions to these subjects. Contracts was a challenge to teach as the material can be a bit dry. But torts could be made more lively through our tendency as human beings to laugh at ourselves.

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Trust Me

(c) 2020 by Ann Babiarz & Associates LLC

“That’s just fake news”

“I thought I knew her.  But when I saw what she wrote on my page, I unfriended her.”

“I got food from the Bistro. I’ve always ordered from there but this time it was terrible.”

What do all of these situations have in common? They’re all about trust. Who can we trust? Should we trust them? What happens when someone or something we trust lets us down?

An interesting article published a few years back in the Harvard Business Review discussed the issue of trust.   Luis F. Martinez of the Nova School of Business and Economics, together with his research partner Marcel Zeelenberg of Tilburg University, created an experiment, using an economic game, to measure levels of future collaboration when research subjects are let down.  These researchers designed their experiment to study the negative emotions that a breach of trust may cause.

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R-E-S-P-E-C-T

(C) 2018 & 2020 by Ann M. Babiarz

“This isn’t third grade, Bob. You can speak.”

photo licensed from www.depositphotos.coom

R E S P E C T

So what is respect anyway?  Generally defined, it s a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by a strength of character, adherence to values, abilities, qualities, or achievements.  

Respect is also a positive way of communicating (both spoken and unspoken)  which can build strong relationships not only with other people in your life, but in your most important relationship; the one  you have with yourself.  True respect is one of those things that cannot be bought.  It must be earned.  

Self-respect  can be defined as having pride, confidence and an overall feeling that you are behaving with honor and dignity. It does not make you narcissistic, conceited,  or self-centered.  In fact, it does the opposite. Self-respect is about having a sense of self-worth and self-love to show that you are worthy of receiving love and in turn, giving love.   Remember, you cannot give what you don’t have.   Self-respect is a necessary part of a healthy relationship.  

If you don’t respect yourself, others may pick up on it and will often follow suit in spite of your role, achievements, accolades or accomplishments.    And, while you cannot force someone to respect you, you can definitely take steps not to be disrespected!  

The feeling of being disrespected is one of those things that often vexes people. Who has any tolerance for it? Willingly subjecting yourself to disrespectful people can cause a plethora of problems, including poor self-esteem and bottled up anger. To be sure, most us us feel disrespected at some time in our lives but how do we know if it was that or something else?   Jumping to conclusions about whether you are being disrespected (when you are not) can cause even more problems. 

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Should You Be Offensive?

© 2016, revised 2020, by Ann Babiarz & Associates LLC, all rights reserved.

If you find yourself falling down a financial hole towards a chaotic situation, can you be proactive and choose to play defense? Can you make a rational, measured decision to breach a contract? Can you choose not to defend a lawsuit, even knowing that a judgment may result, if you are essentially judgment-proof?

Are there social stigmata from walking away from responsibilities? Does it impact your religious beliefs if you did so? Do you feel that your own moral standards, or the mores of your community compel you to stick with a bad deal, or pay what you borrowed? These are all difficult questions and ones I don’t answer for you. But I do raise them for your consideration.

What can be definitively analyzed is what the current political, economic and social structure within the United States allows. Unfettered capitalism permits us to act in our own best interest, believing markets will self-correct to allow resources to be allocated most efficiently. These are the rules under which we are compelled to operate. Whether you impose your own additional rules — again, from moral, religious or other core beliefs you hold — is up to you.

Playing defense is a viable strategy, not only to recover from tumultuous times, but to contemplate as a planning technique if you see trouble ahead, or to understand as a possible tactic should you ever find yourself in dire straits. Simple awareness that you have the right to breach agreements, albeit with certain consequences, is power.

What about playing offense?  Ordering your financial affairs to make yourself a smaller target for potential litigants could be wise. Knowing your exposure to contract or tort lawsuits by booking a consultation with an experienced debtor-creditor attorney may be part of your asset protection plan. Proceeding without advice can be perilous, as there is a critical difference between legitimate asset protection and a calculated defrauding of current or potential creditors. Engaging in the latter may have dreadful consequences.

Questions you need to ask are related to what problems could potentially crop up in your personal or business life and what your exposure is to them. This is another case where knowing the right questions is key.

Having some basic knowledge in advance will make analyzing the decision to break an agreement — whether you may choose to default on a mortgage like some did in 2008, breach a contract your business has with a customer or supplier under the current, challenging COVID economy, or play chicken with your cellular phone company over humongous cancellation penalties — simpler. You will also be prepared with the potential drawbacks to your actions. The “no consequences card” rarely exists in real life.

There will likely be a financial downside. There may be damage to your reputation as well. Your credit score may bottom out and it may be years before you can purchase certain items utilizing anything other than hard-earned cash. Obviously, you need to weigh the consequences carefully.

Rest assured that a lot of successful business owners don’t sweat walking away from a contract when it makes sense to do so. Professional athletes hold out for a better deal. Even in the cellular phone world, companies now offer to pay your cancellation fee to the provider whose contract you breach, essentially encouraging you to do so.

Defense or offense? Upon which side of the ball should you play?  I can’t answer the question for you.  But I hope I offered you some more food for thought.

Protecting Your Family

Have you wondered how can you protect your loved ones – especially if they have special concerns —  if you should pass away?  So many of my clients are worried that someone will try to take control of their family and their money and their family will wind up fighting over this in court.  Some even worry that somehow the government will step in and become intimately involved with their families or will drain away their assets, whether much or modest, that they worked so hard to accumulate.

This is a topic about which my husband Michael is well acquainted.  He spent decades working with clients in private practice consulting with them on asset protection, estate planning and administration and elder law.  Now no longer giving legal advice, he still teaches these very subjects.  And while none of us want our lives to be an adventure — when it comes to asset protection and estate planning boring is good — these topics nonetheless make for cool stories.  He and I wrote The Graveyard Gambit where these issues were interwoven, he continued to use them as the backdrop in the sequel, The Graveyard Gamble, and personal and pecuniary protection is on the minds of his signature character, Alexis Grant, as she winds her way through one tight spot after another in The Graveyard Grifter.  You can check out the latter by clicking here, as I am offering that tale as a special gift to you. 

And although these stories are fictional, protecting yourself, your family and your assets are real concerns, especially in today’s uncertain and tumultuous times.  I have another short video in my Wait a Financial Minute series that you should check out that will help you navigate these rough waters.  Click here to watch How to Protect Special Family Members.

Chaos, Curiosity and the Calm DURING the Storm

Horror movies have always been a Hollywood staple. Sometimes, the film maker intends to truly shock and horrify us, like in Silence of the Lambs.* Sometimes, the picture is a campy takeoff of a horror film, such as Sharknado.** And then there are films that were purportedly serious, but wind up unintentionally humorous. Plan 9 from Outer Space, anyone? ***

Chaos can seem like a horror flick. Or, it can be exciting times that create turmoil. In either case, as you tally the numbers from a stress assessment scale, or simply feel your anxiety build, you need planning and preparation for the day when chaos visits you, your family, your business or your home.  You need to lower the stress and anxiety level. Here are three ideas:

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Belief it or not

Belief it or NOT!  

Limiting beliefs are your personal, general beliefs about the world, your environment and your situation, and the people around you that you perceive as standing in your way.   Newsflash! These beliefs will hold you back from success. Why and how so?  Simply because if you do not believe something is possible, you are not likely to attempt it or if you do attempt it, you won’t devote much energy to achieving it.

The great news is that once you become aware of and overcome limiting beliefs, they can no longer hold you back. And by shattering your limiting beliefs, you may light the way for others to do the same.

How can you challenge your limiting beliefs?

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Life After the Box 8-12-2020

Interview with Greg Firman, Forex expert.

Segment 3: Interview with Greg Firman