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Happy new year everyone! Wishes to you for a funomenal 😃 2019.
Life has its peaks and its valleys. Some are more difficult than others.
The experience of being alive provides us with circumstances that bring us to our knees, (YIKES)! Sometimes life’s circumstances provide us with the opportunity to soar over the moon with joy (AHHH).
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be January 1 for you to make the decision to enjoy every moment and every great thing that you have in your life. Every day is the first day of the rest of your life. You can make the decision to embrace your life at any moment and on any day! It doesn’t need to be January 1st for you to begin again; this is simply a magical pre-defined day when many of us feel that we must tweak our lives. The reality that we have the power to do this every second of every day. It only takes the right choice.
What keeps us alive and motivated every day is the pursuit of our goals, dreams and aspirations:
“May your dreams fill your consciousness, heart and soul,
May you never lose the desire to grow and be, do or have more.
May this year be the best year of your life.
May it be the year that you realize that who you are and everything you do really matters.
Thank you for being who you are.
Thank you for your presence in my life.
May 2019 be your year!
Make every second count!”
I’ve made my 2019 resolutions– how about you?
I hope you have set forth yours as well. And although I’m not going to bore you with the specifics of mine, know that they are Highly organized, Evaluable, Attainable, Reasonable and Time-measured (HEART goals).
In 2019, I am continuing my focus on providing my clients with excellent service, extreme self-care and financial abundance.
I look forward to further developing the relationships I currently have in three key areas:
1. My affiliations with professionals, such as Dr. Kent Hasen (Naples Aesthetic Plastic Surgery), Dr. Nancy Vance (Insight to Health & Wellness), Dr. Edward Grendys, Spa Vargas Wellness and others.
2. My affiliations with the preeminent companies in the world of personal development, Brian Tracy International, Nightingale Conant, The Jack Canfield Training Group and Vantage Point Software.
3. My affiliations with numerous mastermind groups including The Bottom Feeding Investor Platinum Mastermind Group.
Below please find a couple of articles from past newsletters of mine that are designed to help you gain clarity on your year ahead. I hope that they help you in creating and or solidifying your resolutions:
Putting the “I” in Time
Time management is an abhorrent phrase to me. No one manages time. It runs along smartly with or without our cooperation. We do speak of using time. In this sense, there is a biological clock that ticks within us all. Each of us has a different setting of which we are unaware. Nonetheless, we all are aware that in the earth plane of existence, time is a limited and perhaps precious commodity for each and every one of us.
Time is one of the three things that each of us may offer to the world. Whether we proffer our offerings to our employer, our spouse, our children, our school or our hobbies, all we may give is time, talent and treasures. Of the three, time is arguably the most dear.
Treasures can be inherited, received or earned. We may use our treasures on a number of things — from mundane items such as food, shelter, and clothing — to investments we view as legacies to our issue. Treasures lost may be replaced, and treasure can be decreased, increased or otherwise sought.
Talents include those things to which we seem to have a natural affinity and those to which we learn as a skill. Within reason, and our own limitations, we may add to our talents, hone them further, and even brush them up if we feel through lack of use that rust has accumulated.
Time is different. We speak of spending time much as we might spending money or other treasures. But once spent, time cannot be re-earned. Once done, we cannot retrieve this day, this hour or this moment ever again. Yet, although we put forth much effort to acquire new or polish old talents, and can carefully manage our portfolios, do we view time in the same light?
Last weekend, my grand daughter Shaylynn had a sleepover at my house. As my husband chauffeured the three of us home — I rode in the back seat next to Shaylynn per her request — my husband noticed my usual habit of checking my smart phone for e-mails, texts and social media notifications that are pushed to my home screen. He jokingly told my four-year-old granddaughter that she should admonish me for looking at my phone, and that instead I should be paying attention to her. Sure enough, throughout the rest of her visit, every time I picked up my phone, she waggled a finger at me and told her grandma to pay attention to her.
This got me thinking about my time usage. That four-year-old voice was the voice of wisdom. There was nothing on my phone that was urgent or an emergency. But my little granddaughter would never be sitting next to me in the backseat of the car on that particular day again. Yet the preciousness of the moment was one I was prepared to ignore.
How we use our time is most often driven by our core values. What foundational beliefs do we have, ones that are truly ours and not imposed by some outside institution, family members, or peer group, and how do those beliefs impact our daily lives? If we find that we use our time in a manner most congruent with our foundational beliefs, we will find our days on earth to be more satisfactory. If on the other hand, we multitask inappropriately, ignore moments we shouldn’t, or our time goes towards activities that are anathema to those philosophies which make up our core, we risk cognitive dissonance. Our minds are thinking and our bodies are acting in a manner that is inconsistent with who we truly are.
When you examine how you use time, you’ll find that much of it is your choice. This is an area where you can set goals around how you use time. Making your expression of this precious resource a clear reflection of who you really are — putting the “I” back into your time usage — can be a key element in relieving much dissatisfaction with daily life.
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” Socrates
How to Take the ASS out of Assertive
One key life skill is asking for what you want and setting boundaries around what you don’t. Nevertheless, sometimes in our enthusiasm to practice this skill, we overdo our own assertiveness and end up with a partner who shuts down, gets angry or feels resentful.
Here are four tips for developing your assertiveness in a way that will strengthen, deepen and enrich your relationship; thus avoiding the trap of alienation:
- Establish Clarity.
Being assertive starts with knowing what you are—and aren’t—willing to be, do, or have. For many of us, coming to this knowledge is a challenging task unto itself. Here, it may be useful to ask the following question: “In an ideal world, what would I like?”
Focusing on an ideal outcome opens our minds, prevents us from falling into passivity or “victim-thinking,” and helps us understand what we want and don’t want.
- Set Boundaries.
Once you know what outcome you need (or want), share it with your partner.
Pay attention to the way stating your boundary feels in your body. With practice, you can actually sense when you’re hitting the “sweet spot.” It can feel really pleasurable, even exhilarating, to express your needs or desires out loud. Phrases like “such and such doesn’t work for me” are simple ways of being assertive while maintaining connection with your partner.
Nevertheless, although it may feel fantastic to state these things out loud, be careful not to overdue. Oftentimes, when we finally begin exerting more will, we can sound like a broken record. Be firm but nice and not too repetitive. If you are clear enough the first time, your partner will get it.
- Make a Regular Habit of Stating Your Needs and Desires.
You can build your assertiveness the same way you build any muscle: exercise it. Practice speaking up about your needs, big or small, on a daily basis. When you speak up about things that are less controversial—such as where to go to dinner, requesting help unloading the dishwasher or what TV program to watch—both you and your partner get used to your assertiveness. It becomes easier for you to express your needs and for your partner to hear them. Also, when bigger issues come along, you and your partner will have a healthy process in place for dealing with differences, and you’ll have greater confidence in the resilience of your partnership.
- Give as Much as You Get.
Assertiveness is a two-way street. If you want your boundaries to be respected, you must return the courtesy to your partner. If she doesn’t want you to use the bathroom when she’s in the shower, don’t. If he asks you to give him a half an hour of quiet time after work before you talk and connect, respect that. When it comes to following through on a partner’s reasonable request, actions really do speak louder than words.
If your partner isn’t respecting your boundaries despite your having set them clearly, it may be time to seek professional help for you and/or your relationship.