Excuse Me, But Do You Have the Morals of an Alley Cat?
Action is everything. Intention without action accomplishes nothing. But how do we know how we should act? The single most important factor in deciding how to act in any given situation is to know, understand, and proceed according to your values. Failure to act in a manner congruent with your values, ethics, morals, scruples, or however you define your internal compass, can result in what social scientists term “cognitive dissonance”. You may know it as an uneasy feeling, a kind of “short circuit” in your brain, or other physical or psychological manifestations.
Most of us have at least a vague sense of our values. Nevertheless, to move forward on a path of personal or financial or business growth, it is extremely important to understand which values mean more to you than others. In a sense, you are trying to attach a value to each and every value that you hold. This is called values clarification.
With values clarification, you set up your operating guidelines. Try this exercise. Write down the seven most important values in your life. Don’t ponder the question for long; the best way to do this is as quickly as possible. Next, rank each of the seven values you have set forth in order of importance. Which is most important? Which comes next? While it may be difficult, you need to establish a clear-cut order. No ties!
The way to determine your values is not to examine how you think, or what you hope or wish you could be doing. The way to ascertain your values is to examine your actions. You will find that you most often act in accordance with your values.
Moreover, your actions should be consistent with how you rank your values. In other words, if you have a choice between two courses of action, one that is in accordance with your top-rated value, and one that is harmonious with your third-ranked value, you should choose the former and not the latter.
Suppose your number one value is your career, followed by your relationship with your spouse, with your desire to accumulate wealth coming in at number three. Compare this with your friend who has the same top three values, but in a different order. She prides her husband and children as most important, followed by accumulating wealth, and then her career. Imagine that you and your friend work for the same company and are both offered a promotion which would result in more money, but a transfer to a new city, which would uproot and upset your spouses. How might the differences in how you rank your values affect how each of you might react or respond to this offer of the promotion?
You can see that clarifying your values and the importance you attach to each can play a critical role in how you conduct your day-to-day life. Other exercises are available to help elucidate and rank your values. For those of you who have access to my private client website, feel free to login and click on the button marked “forms”. Then click on “documents” and “values”. There you will find an exercise that I developed to assist you with this important step on the path to success in life, career and business.