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“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do, and mostly live.” Dalai Lama
As I read this quote, my focus shifts among the minimum 1000 things on my to-do list, all of which are tapping on my shoulder.
Does this scenario sound vaguely familiar? If it does, you could be dealing with a state of overwhelm. This state affects most of us at some point in our lives.
Many people recount that they are feeling overwhelmed by things like juggling the demands of business/career, family and self-care. Me time, REALLY? Here are some other common reasons why we feel overwhelmed:
Trying to be everything to everyone
Trying to focus on too many things at once
Being too optimistic about how much time it takes to do a task
Adding too many appointments, projects, and tasks to your calendar
Not using the very powerful word “NO” to people and projects that are not in alignment with your goals.
The first thing to remember is that many of the things that we have on our calendars are a CHOICE. Things like showering, feeding our children, the dogs, and ourselves; those must stay on your daily list. Similarly, there are things that belong on your list that should be non- negotiable, such as exercise. If you find that you have difficulty motivating yourself to do the must do’s, knock them out first each day. You are then starting the day with success!
When you have clarity about your deepest desires for your life, you can make better decisions about what belongs on your list. An important thing to keep in mind is that when you take on things that do not align with your goals and desires, and in essence, make a choice to do too much (when you say YES to everyone else you are saying NO to yourself), you are also making a choice to feel overwhelmed. Do not forget that you are in the driver’s seat! Do you want to drive to the state of burnout, frustration, overwhelm or peace?
Great news! Someone else has filled the Master of the Universe role. This leaves you free to admit that you can’t do it all. Take a deep breath and know that you don’t need to go on the bus to the stadium with 100 drunken fans of your favorite athletic team (you can drive there on your own), you don’t have to go to that dreaded networking event that doesn’t result in much business for you anyway, and you can ask for help if you need it!
Each time I have an idea for a new project, I put it on my to-do list. After completing my standard routine of reviewing the list, complaining about it to my spouse, and feeling my stomach churn at the thought of trying to get it all done, I have a repeated epiphany. I will never be finished with this list! There will always be another project, another request of me, or another phone call to make.
After the profound insight that you can’t get it all done, your next logical decision is whether to delegate or delete! If you are serious about your journey to the state of Peace, it’s time to either enlist some help and delegate tasks or remove things from your to-do list by deleting them.
It takes some time to become accustomed to new habits doesn’t it? How will it feel to be in control of your calendar, to-do list, and workload instead of them being in control of you?
Here are some additional suggestions for your trek to peace:
Calm
It is not a good idea to take this or any other journey when you are stressed. Take 5 minutes for some relaxation before doing the following. If you need help with this, and can spare 6 1/2 minutes, we’ve attached a meditation video below, which you may find helpful.
Priorities and Goals
Where do you want your life to be in 12 months? What is important right now to get you to your 12-month goals? Pick three goals for 12 months. If you complete them, you can add another one later.
Centralize your To Do List
I find it very helpful to have a to-do list on my computer. Because I have a Mac, my to-do list is pushed from the computer to my cell-phone. Very handy! When a new idea comes up, I either record it on my cell phone voice recorder or write it on my to-do list.
Clear your Clutter!
There are few things more energy draining than clutter. It’s difficult to concentrate on the task in front of you when there are too many reminders of other undone tasks. When you place paperwork in a drawer (out of sight), add an item on your to-do list about where to it when you are ready to work on that task.
There is no better feeling than starting fresh and getting a complete handle on everything that needs to be done. By going through every paper, every pile, and every note, you can consolidate and prioritize. Remember to record each task on your centralized to-do list. Pitch all of those individual notes!
Delegate
Review your task list. First ask, “Does this need to be done?” Then ask, “Am I the only person who can do this task?” For those necessary tasks than can be delegated, your next step is to determine to whom to delegate.
Double the Time
I was famous for allotting too little time for tasks. I would start a task to discover that it would take twice the time I allowed. This would leave me frustrated and, you guessed it, even more overwhelmed! I now double the amount of time I think a task will take. It provides me with adequate time and sometimes, the luxury of a few free minutes!
Focus Pocus!
Single focus! Work on one take at a time until it is complete. Multi-tasking will lead you to feeling more overwhelmed. When you multi task, it will take longer for you to complete each task and you may feel like you have not completed anything.
Just DITCH It!
Some projects and tasks are unnecessary. When you are clear about your goals and priorities, you will know which to ditch.
Just DO IT!
What is on your list that absolutely needs to get done? You know, things like medical tests, taxes, etc. Just do it. Eat that frog and you will feel so much better!
The Power of NO
How often are you are you saying yes to things that do not align with your goals? Learn how to say no in a graceful way. How many things are on your list that you should have said NO to? Review your list and determine if there is any way you can eliminate them from your list by saying a graceful NO now?
If not, use this as a lesson! The next time someone makes a request for your time, review your to do list first. If the request is not an absolute yes, it’s time to put your lips together and say NO.
Action Alleviates Anxiety
Pick one high-priority task on your to do list and do it. Nothing relieves stress better than getting off your butt and taking action. Don’t fall in the trap of picking a low-priority task just because it is easy. Do the things that matter.
Whew! That’s quite a list! Don’t try to do all tips at once. Pick one that feels like it will work well for you and take a month to make it a habit. Then pick another and another until you can feel your overwhelm and anxiety lessen.
Here’s to a peaceful and productive life!