Here’s a little fable about Christmas we wanted to share with you. We appreciate you and hope you enjoy the story and the two short videos as well.
Ann & Michael
[© 2019 by Michael A. Babiarz, all rights reserved]
Santa was tired. He had been delivering toys once a year around the world for, well, a really long time. Nowadays it was getting tougher to do his job. Every December 24th, he’d take off with his sleigh and reindeer. But they’d have to cruise at low altitudes to avoid all of the radar installations put in place to guard seemingly every square mile of land. Once he arrived at his destinations, he often found that the children’s parents had already ordered toys from one of those online stores that delivered them the next day free. Finally, it was getting harder to sneak down the chimney into someone’s living room, what with all the security systems and cameras and all.
And there was the problem of the toys. His elves knew how to build a great toy train, assemble a fantastic doll, or lace up a leather football. But kids nowadays wanted video games and phones. He invested in a lot of corporate retraining for his workforce but they still could never keep up with Apple or Google. And it wasn’t as if Santa was a Luddite. He had the most extensive database about all the children of the world.
The Christmas season seem to start earlier every year. As he watched his satellite-TV, Santa started to see commercials for the holidays as early as October. There seemed to be a lot of Santa impersonators too – maybe even more than Elvis impersonators – as every store, parade or TV show seem to have at least one. And then there was the naughty or nice list. Even kids that were on the naughty list wound up getting gifts. This really wreaked havoc with Santa’s business model.
He sat down with Mrs. Claus and together they decided that there would be no more Santa services on Christmas. No, Santa decided to retire. As he got older, like many of us, his bones ached with the cold winds. Mrs. Claus slipped and fell on the ice; luckily, she didn’t hurt herself, but Santa worried that as both of them got older, the North Pole was no place to be.
So one fateful day, Santa closed his workshop, packed up the Misses, his reindeer, and his elves – and boy were there a lot of elves – and headed south. He had seen the commercials and the brochures for Florida and it looked like the perfect place to settle. He found a nice little house with a pool in a gated golf community in Southwest Florida. He bought a boat for cruising along the waterways and even into the Gulf of Mexico on some of the calmer days.
But it didn’t take long for trouble to start brewing.
You see, Santa didn’t understand that he couldn’t simply keep his reindeer in his garage. The homeowners’ association had rules against that. And after he paid several fines, that matter came to a head when some of the reindeer got out one night and decided to go foraging. Well, a golf course isn’t the best place for several wayward reindeer to go poking around. Comet and Cupid wound up pawing around the eighth tee-box, making divots that clearly weren’t caused by a mishit golf shot. And Donner and Blitzen wandered by someone’s lanai, triggering a call to the local sheriff.
With great sadness, Santa shipped off the reindeer to live on a ranch several miles outside of town. At least he could visit them and they would be well fed and cared for the rest of their days. Still, he missed seeing them every day. At least the abominable snowman decided to stay at the North Pole. Santa would have no idea where a 15-foot high hairy beast could have found a home.
Boating proved to be a bit problematic too. You see Santa knew how to drive a sleigh through the air but boating on the water was at first quite baffling. He tried to use Rudolph at the bow to help guide his way but frankly, lighting was less of a problem than understanding how much different water was then air to travel through. And the boat simply wasn’t big enough. By the time Santa and the Mrs. as well as a bunch of the elves piled on – remember there were a lot of elves – the deck of the boat sagged precariously close to the water line. As much as he hated to do it, Santa had to start taking the elves out on the water in small groups.
Then, let’s talk more about the elves – did I mention there were a lot of elves? – who to the folks in the community looked like children. And this was a problem. You see, Santa bought his new home in a senior community. Children weren’t allowed except as visitors. In fact nobody under the age of 55 was allowed to live there. So the elves drifted away, some one at a time and some in groups, on to their own adventures. A few found work in a stage production of the Wizard of Oz. Still others found jobs where their mechanical skills came in handy. As they left the Florida home of Santa and Mrs. Claus, they all promised they’d keep in touch. By now, all of them had smart phones, as did Santa, and texting seemed to be the way to communicate. And true to their word they did keep in touch, sending Santa pictures of this thing and the other that they did.
Then Mrs. Claus came to Santa with another problem. It seems they miscalculated how much money they would need to get by in their retirement. Needing to pay some bills, Santa found a job at a local mall playing – you guessed it – Santa Claus! He still loved the children. But it was hard going back to what he used to do for so many years, only this time as an employee. His employer paid him minimum wage and he had to provide his own uniform. Fortunately, the clothing wasn’t a problem and he didn’t need a fake beard. Also, he was disappointed when he saw the other people that played Santa when his shift had not yet started or was over. They just didn’t laugh right. They were impatient with the children. And they seem to know little about how the whole naughty and nice thing went down.
As Christmas drew near, Santa pondered what he could do next. He obviously didn’t plan well enough for his retirement. But he didn’t want to go back to the North Pole. He really couldn’t. The days were getting warmer and the ice around his old, shuttered workshop seemed to be melting. And Santa loved the warm Florida sunshine and, aside from a cranky homeowners’ association manager, he got along well with his neighbors. He wanted to stay and make a secure and happy retirement for him and Mrs. Claus. What could he do?
It was late Christmas Eve. Santa arrived home from working at the mall. Lots of kids came to see him that day as the last minute rush towards Christmas was coming to a close. He was bone-tired. Working double shifts as a mall Santa proved to be harder than being the real one.
As he stepped from his car into the driveway, he was greeted by Ann, his perky blonde neighbor from next-door. Santa didn’t know Ann well. But he got a good feeling whenever he spoke with her. She was upbeat and had a silly sense of humor. Santa liked that.
As he chatted with his neighbor, Santa found himself pouring out his troubles. Ann listened patiently to how Santa’s retirement went off the rails.
Well one thing led to another, and Santa learned that Ann worked with people much like himself: folks who were entering retirement yet were concerned that they were going to run out of money. She helped them to first protect what they had, then to look at their mindset and their skill sets, and finally to craft and implement a plan so that they could create another source of income for a secure retirement.
Santa’s eyes glistened as he heard Ann tell of people she had helped. He asked Ann if she could help him. Although Ann most often worked with women, she readily agreed. Santa was special and she would do her best. Besides, what better way to stay on the nice list?
Over the next several months, Santa and Ann worked together closely. They began by putting in place plans to make sure that Santa would not lose what he already had worked very hard to earn. Ann accompanied Santa to a meeting with a local attorney who drafted wills, trusts and powers of attorney for Mr. and Mrs. Claus. She also helped Santa vet several financial planners, with him ultimately deciding upon one who would watch over his money so he didn’t have to. Ann also had Santa take other steps to secure his assets including ways to protect his reputation, his property, and his relationships.
Once they had nailed down that first step, Ann had Santa complete several assessments that were to look at the skills he had. At first, Santa balked. He didn’t feel that what he knew really involved any skills. True, he trained his elves how to make toys and true, he knew how to relate to children and how to make Christmas merry for them. But Santa didn’t think these things were special. Ann made him realize that what may seem easy to him were actually skills that were very specialized. It was because he was highly skilled that these things came easy to him.
When Santa realized what skills he had and he felt more comfortable about securing what he brought with him from his prior career, he had a revelation. Santa decided to start a training company. He would teach aspiring Kris Kringles how to be a better Santa. He could help them whether they were going to have children on their laps at a mall, wave cheerily on a float in a Christmas parade, or visit and comfort children in hospitals. Santa created a certification program. After several weeks of learning from the master, a person would be a fully qualified Santa.
Santa showed his students the right way to use their belly and their breath for a good “ho, ho, ho.” He taught them all the tricks he remembered on how to supervise elves – and he had a lot of elves to supervise – so that a graduate of his program could work well with his or her assistants. He trained them to recognize naughty from nice. And he taught them that they need not only to listen to what the child asked for on Christmas, but that it was perfectly okay to suggest a toy that might be for sale in the store in which the Santa was working.
Word spread quickly that there were now certified Santas available to work in malls, in parades, or anywhere a Santa was needed in November and December. The certification was a hit. Also, because Santa kept in touch with all his elves – even though this took considerable time because, well, there were a lot of them – his former helpers became the best marketing team ever. Soon, department stores and other places where a Santa was needed began not only to demand a certified Santa, but also recognized that it was important to pay their employees better and to give them better working conditions.
Over the next few years, Santa’s company boomed. He branched out into licensed clothing and accessories – after all, a proper Santa needed the right beard, wire-rimmed glasses and gingerbread scented cologne – and even commissioned tee shirts and other officially licensed Santa apparel.
But there were two problems.
Santa wondered what happened to the children to whom he used to bring toys on his old route? Were the parents simply providing all the toys? What about the poor families that couldn’t afford toys? Santa especially worried about them. What was happening to Christmas morning?
It turns out that something had happened. Some may think it magical. Perhaps the north wind had something to do with it. Maybe the abominable snowman was involved. Or, some may call it simple business succession. It turns out that after Santa shuttered his workshop and headed south, his cousin took over the business. A dead ringer for Santa, he was able to train a fleet of flying reindeer, round up some elves from various locales, and restart the business. Best of all, the new Santa was able to be up and running by the very next Christmas. Sure, there were a few mistakes made that first year. But through the magic of Christmas, Santa’s cousin was able to almost seamlessly step in and handle things. The children, especially the poor ones, had a Merry Christmas after all.
The other problem was Santa’s new business. It was doing too well! It was keeping him much busier than he ever anticipated in retirement. He loved what he was doing. But he decided to call back some of his elves to come and run his company for him. He remained the figurehead – after all what would the Santa company be without Santa – but he let the elves handle the day-to-day training. He still maintained more than enough income from the business to keep him and Mrs. Claus warm and toasty in Florida the rest of their days.
And what of Ann, who helped Santa get his retirement back on track? She has only one further request of you, the reader of the story. You see, all the parents and all the other adults understand what Santa is all about. It’s okay with the grown-ups if Santa retired, started a company to train Santas around the world, and that his cousin now runs the original workshop up at the North Pole. But Ann wants to be sure that you don’t tell any children about this story. They learn more about Santa when they become school-age and such. But until then, let’s make sure the magic of Christmas remains as it always has for those of tender years. It will be our secret.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good New Year!