(c) 2020 by Ann M. Babiarz
A popular exercise, perhaps made so by the 2007 movie of the same name, is to create a “bucket list” as one plans for or has already arrived at his or her retirement day. The concept is a simple one. Throughout our working lives we often dream of things we want to accomplish before our time is up in this realm. Freed from the daily 9-5 routine of work, some choose to list those tasks/activities/proposed accomplishments on a list and then set out to check off as many of those items from the list as is possible before you check out completely.
One of the problems with the bucket list is that many of us underwhelm with the items we set forth. I have seen various articles and heard from numerous commentators that the average retiree completes his or her bucket list in a relatively short period of time. Then what? If the bucket list represents the final chapter in one’s life, does accomplishing it mean your brain should tell your body it’s time to call it quits?
Or, we can also find the opposite problem. An overly ambitious bucket list, although seemingly less common, presents no less of a challenge. If the list is overwhelming and little progress was made, do we then give up in frustration? Amend the list? Forget the list ever existed?
The ambitions of the bucket list are admirable. Too often, we don’t prepare adequately for retirement. We may spend some time examining our finances to see how set we are in that department. But we rarely have anything more than a vague sense of what we are going to do with the hours, days, weeks, months, and years ahead. Shuffling through retirement with no purpose or meaning to your life can lead to boredom. Boredom in turn actually correlates highly with increased chances of anxiety, depression, and physical maladies.
Boredom may also lead to the retiree greeting his four new best friends on a daily basis: the television set, the bed or sofa, the refrigerator, and the bottle(s) of beer, wine or spirits.
In its best incarnation then, the ill-planned retirement leads to boredom. In its worst incarnation, it can contribute to weight gain, depression, and alcohol or substance abuse.
What happens to a significant number of retirees is that, lacking meaning or purpose to life, they return to work. Statistically, about one-third of all retirees re-enter the work force within a year of leaving it. Some do so from necessity, finding the retirement kitty a little too scrawny for a fulfilling life. Others make the choice to return to work because they find insufficient fulfillment as a retiree.
Part of the solution is a mindset shift. Rather than looking at retirement as leaving purposeful life for some forced inactivity, trudging towards the inevitable end, what if instead we looked at it as a time to engage in passions, pursuits, and projects that lead towards self-actualization. Instead of being downtrodden as you look towards each new day, you instead choose to soar to new heights. Deep down, we are all good, indeed excellent, at one or more activities. We are all creative in our own distinct and individual way. We need to couple that mindset shift with exploration of things that turn us on – spiritually, mentally and physically (although not necessarily sexually!) – which then leads us to life well lived.
An awesome tool that can help with planning for retirement is mind mapping. Several software companies have developed programs to assist with this. Essentially, a mind map is a simple but powerful tool. It allows us to brainstorm items all leading to one central goal. Here, the goal is a successful and fulfilling retirement or, as I like to call it, a next chapter of life.
You can mind map with or without the assistance of technology. If you obtain software, the instructions are clear enough. For those of you who prefer paper, you can either use a notebook or, better yet, one of those large easel tablets of paper upon which you can use bright and different colored markers to sketch out your thoughts. Some of these king-sized pads even come with “post-it note” type glue on the top edge so that once you create a mind map with which you are happy, you can stick it on a wall somewhere. And mind mapping is not a once-and-done activity. As you approach retirement and even thereafter, you can always look to amend or modify your journey. Metaphorically and literally, with paper or software, nothing is cast in stone.
To create your mind map, start by putting the words “successful and fulfilling life”, in the middle of your tableau. From there, extend four spokes outward. On the first spoke, start listing things that you do now that you enjoy, are passionate about, and bring a sense of meaning or purpose to your life. On the second spoke, name activities that you enjoyed or found meaningful in the past, but in which you no longer engage, for reasons unrelated to your ability. In other words, if you liked downhill skiing in the past, but you had a hip replacement and your doctor strongly suggests that your schussing days are over, that’s not something you can put down. On your third spoke – and here is where the fun begins – brainstorm activities that you haven’t tried, ones that will engage your mind, body, and/or spirit. Finally, your fourth spoke should have activities that will keep you healthy: exercise, eating habits, socialization, and so on.
You may find overlap. An activity may wind up on more than one spoke. That’s not only permitted, it is an encouraging sign. If you see items turning up more than once, you probably are finding something that is a key element of your successful retirement plan.
As you proceed with this exercise, also consider things that might add to your bottom line. If you are a typical American, you are woefully financially unprepared to exist on your three-legged stool of Social Security, private savings, and retirement savings. You will likely need something to sweeten the retirement pot. Ideally, that activity will also be something which provides you purpose and meaning rather than obligation and drudgery. In my coaching practice, I call this element of your retirement plan the fourth pillar. To me, it’s a great visual. Isn’t a four-legged stool much sturdier than a three-legged one?
As you make your initial foray into mind mapping, leave behind your judgmental self, that little gremlin voice inside you that says you can’t/shouldn’t do or engage in a particular activity. Shut that nattering nabob of negativity out of this activity! This is the time for brainstorming and no wrong answers. A mind map requires a lot of rough drafts. You will make many stabs at this. Don’t give up!
As you look over your map, hopefully watching TV, excessive napping, binging on food or on alcohol or other substances isn’t on any of the four spokes. Make sure you have activities on the spokes rather than pass-ivities. Another important goal of a successful next chapter of life is to be up and around. Of course reading books, taking courses, or attending lectures are worthwhile. Simply make sure that you have enough items on your list that get you up and moving in some way. Along with your mind, you need to engage your body, with awareness of any physical limitations of course, as best you can.
Something that may seem the antithesis of retirement is that as you create your map and decide upon those activities that will become a part of your life over this next chapter, you will also need to have a delicate balance between routine and spontaneity. Too often, individuals who retire tend to migrate toward one extreme or the other. The uninspired retiree either sets rigid bedtimes and awakenings, set schedules for all activities, and task lists and agendas for each day, week and month. Or, this person rebels against the rigor of the 9-5 job, overreacting with the freedom that is now available. Everything is spontaneous.
Neither of these extremes is often the right answer. The routine-a-holic winds up finding less meaning and purpose because he or she must stick to the plan and the schedule. This causes you to miss much of the joy that retirement can bring. But the one who is uber-spontaneous ironically can wind up bored because without any goals or structure, the human mind often drifts to the lowest common denominator, and the couch and TV become omnipresent.
As you further refine your mind map, you may also consider what types of routines you could create to put some structure around your retirement journey. Again, for many of us, an encore career of sorts, typically through some form of entrepreneurship, helps bring money and meaning, both of which are sorely needed by the average retiree. But more than that, an encore career will bring a bit of organization to your day. Now that said, one of the joys of this next chapter is that you should always allow yourself the flexibility to be spontaneous and break away from the routine. Fifty to seventy-five years of life have given you that right.
Don’t let the sudden change from work to retirement catch you off guard. And don’t rely upon the bucket list that you maintain somewhere within your head. Put that bucket list on steroids with mind mapping, mindset shift, and a search for meaning, and you will be on your way towards a secure, happy, and carefree retirement.