© 2020 by Michael A. Babiarz
Do you wake up in the middle of the night when your phone, conveniently tucked on your nightstand, pings to alert you to a new social media post? Do you spend your breaks and your lunch hour on Facebook? Or do you spend hours you should be working surfing YouTube instead?
If so, you’re not alone. Statistics show that large numbers of us spend enormous amounts of screen time on social media. And although some social scientists see no harm in interacting with others in this digital fashion, especially for those who are well-adjusted, studies have shown that for individuals who are prone to certain neuroses, particularly anxiety or narcissism, excessive use of sites like Facebook can create a wide range of undesirable results, from depression to increased narcissism.
Some of the problem lies in the fact that much of what is posted on social media is not true. Too often, we see posts or pictures of our “friends” who appear to be living lives that are much better than ours. We compare and our life looks terrible when contrasted with theirs. We may see the happy holiday pictures, the travel to various exotic places, or momentous events such as a graduation from an impressive university. But we rarely see or read about the person collapsing from exhaustion who prepared the holiday meal, the traveler’s diarrhea from visiting the exotic place, or the great sacrifice, toil and struggle it took to graduate from that particular institution. Yet we still play the comparison game and often to our detriment.
When we go through transitions in life – moving from one job to another or perhaps from work into retirement – we lose touch with many real flesh and blood friends with whom we worked. Although we may keep in contact with them through social media, this may lead to feelings of sadness, loneliness, or even depression, particularly if we struggle to replace the social interactions we had in the workplace.
And how many pictures on Facebook or Pinterest are Photoshopped? Sometimes we see what appear to be amazing photos – the cat cuddling the bunny or what appears to be a monster poking its head out of the lake – and do we believe that picture to be authentic? Does that video on YouTube really show a politician dropping a F bomb at a rally?
Moreover, instead of envying others, we also come across individuals who use social media to rant about how awful their day was. Hearing too many people whining for attention may affect us, putting us in a down or angry mood. Or, perhaps we see pictures of friends of ours attending a party to which we were not invited. How does that make us feel? Are we upset over being left out or are we happy that they are out having a good time?
Then there are other ways social media is used that can create issues. Are you stalking an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend on Facebook? Studies have shown this curiosity does more harm than good. When you attend social events or travel, are you more worried about documenting your outing or journey to create a good post than simply enjoying the time you are spending? And we need not even discuss what happens when people create political posts on Facebook and the like: the arguing, vitriol and flurry of unfriending makes these forums more correctly titled antisocial media.
Experts agree that spending more time with real friends in real life, less time on social media, focusing on more positive aspects to your life and not using these online forums to rant or as a “public journal”, can go a long way towards altering your social media mindset to one that is more healthy. If you must sleep with your phone bedside, turn off notifications. Consider a social media detox once in a while. Perhaps one day a week you could consider avoiding these sites altogether.
Understanding social media and how it affects your mood, your manner and your mindset can be key to success in any phase of life. It is particularly critical if you are undergoing a transition such as a divorce, a new job, or retirement. Be especially vigilant about the effect social media has on you at those particularly vulnerable times.
Sources:
Is Facebook Making You Depressed, Susan Krause Witbourne PhD, Psychology Today Https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201710/is-facebook-making-you-depressed, retrieved on February 19, 2020.
Here’s What To Do If Facebook Makes You Feel Depressed, Carina Wolf, Simplemost https://www.simplemost.com/heres-avoid-feeling-depressed-facebook/, retrieved on February 19, 2020.
Does Facebook Make You Depressed?, Dr. Perptua Neo, Huffington Post Https://www.huffpost.com/entry/does-facebook-make-you-de_b_8474654, retrieved on February 19, 2020.