© 2020 Michael A. Babiarz
One of the challenges in any transition is the effect it has on our self-identity. Particularly when we are moving from job to job or into or out of the workforce, we struggle with feelings of doubt, anxiety and sometimes even depression. The root cause of much of this cognitive dissonance is due to our tendency to identify ourselves with what we perceive is our primary task at any given time.
The reason this is so acute when the change involves employment is our focus upon ourselves as human “doings” rather than our true self as human beings and the importance earnings have on that concept. Two of the times in our life’s journey where this is felt most profoundly is when we transition from our days as a student to our days in the workforce, and conversely, when we shift from employment into retirement. Ironically, although one most often seems like a beginning and the other like an end, both are stressful times for many.
Whether we have graduated from high school, college or university, moving from a student, generally a much more carefree lifestyle, to an employee, can be a jarring transition. Although we may have worked during summers or part or even full-time during some of our schooling, there is the sense that we have done more than simply graduated from school: we have graduated into adulthood. We go from worrying about four or five classes a semester into juggling multiple responsibilities as an employee. We often move from our parents’ nest to a place of our own. And our school friends tend to drift away, being replaced by those we meet on the job.
But perhaps even more unpredictable is turning the page into that next chapter of life called retirement. Even those that have harbored big plans for what comes next, including “bucket lists” of things to do, struggle with finding purpose and meaning to their lives. Additionally, retirement is sometimes when we contemplate our own mortality. The cruel trick is that retirees sometimes have time on their hands, but perhaps less time in general. The reality of retirement is often buried during our working years when we are busy not only with our 9-5 jobs, but also the responsibilities of paying our mortgage, raising our children, and putting down roots in our communities.
For many, with retirement comes the trauma of leaving the working world. Our self-concept is often wrapped up in our job. We may lose not only our identity, but our work friends, and find that the bucket list took three or four months to check off most of the items and now we are at a loss. There is sometimes social isolation in retirement as well. Making new friends in your 60s, 70s and beyond is a challenge. Even the casual cocktail party can be awkward. After all, what is the second question someone asks after your name? It’s typically, “what do you do?” We may wear T-shirts and baseball caps with cute or pithy sayings on them about being retired, unemployed or carefree, but the truth is that not having a remunerative-based answer to that question can be painful.
The key to a successful retirement is to contemplate what you will do once you leave the working world before it happens. Can you imagine how you will spend the 40 to 60 hours a week you used to toil away at the office? Will you work in retirement, as many will from necessity, finding their retirement kitty a little leaner than it needs to be? Will you take time to volunteer or to learn?
The most successful retirees have encore careers. These may be jobs, immersion as a volunteer in a non-for profit and in whose mission you truly believe, or, as is becoming more popular, solo entrepreneurship. Great satisfaction is reported by those who make these choices. The added benefit from the encore career, apart from volunteer gigs, is that it usually provides sorely needed income to boost your lifestyle and to give you the opportunity to complete and continue to enjoy the items on your bucket list.
But whether you choose to make the world a better place, or simply your little corner of it a bit nicer, what’s most important is to prepare before you take the plunge into this transition. The best lived retirements are those that are planned every bit as carefully as the education that brought you into your career as a young adult.