GOT HAPPINESS?
How do you feel about your level of happiness in your life?
There is a great deal of talk these days about happiness. If you want to raise your happiness quotient, you can do it any number of ways. You can complete courses, read books, subscribe to forums, or follow any number of paths to proactively raise your happiness quotient. But what if being happy is not for you? Are you tired of those Face book posts reflecting a world gone glad?
What’s wrong with being in a quagmire of misery and loving it? When the bluebird of happiness looks more like a turkey, negative emotions such as sustained stress or fear can contribute to heart disease, stroke and diabetes; chronic anger and anxiety can hasten atherosclerosis and increase systematic inflammation; and early childhood “toxic stress” from neglect or abuse has harmful effects on the brain and other organ systems (Rimer & Drexler 2012). In the Harvard Public Health Review (Rimer & Drexler 2012), researcher Laura Kubzansky notes that happiness appears to have a positive health benefit independent of the impact of not having negative health factors. “It looks like there is a benefit of positive mental health that goes beyond the fact that you’re not depressed. What that is is still a mystery. But when we understand the set of processes involved, we will have much more insight into how health works.”
Here is some help and support for you if you are an intractable vessel of lugubriousness and wish to turn a blind eye toward the ever-mounting evidence that being happier is both possible and valuable in terms of health, success, and relationships. You don’t need to feel forced into seeking gladness any longer!
Here are some tips to increase the possibility of ongoing dissatisfaction with your life:
- Take offense to everything!
- Complain, complain, and complain some more!
- Never take responsibility, especially for positive things.
- Pity yourself; nobody can do it like you can!
- Be needy; test everyone’s love for you.
- Be ungrateful!
- Avoid reality, it probably sucks anyway.
- Make happiness chase you.
- Always be right.
- Expect others to read your mind.
- Be perfect!
- Engage in a constant stream of negative self-talk.
On the other hand, if you have been paying attention and you want to open the door to being less of a drain and more of an asset to your friends, family, and workplace, it’s time to pursue your own happiness.
Happiness is no laughing matter. Research has shown that improved happiness is linked to improved overall wellness. Some health advocates are calling for positive well-being to be incorporated into health care and public policy worldwide. In “Happy People Live Longer: Subjective Well-Being Contributes to Health and Longevity”—a 2011 review of more than 160 pertinent studies—researchers Ed Diener and Micaela Chan conclude, “In light of the evidence it is perhaps time to add interventions to improve subjective well-being to the list of public health measures, and alert policy makers to the relevance of subjective well-being for health and longevity.”
In his book, Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth (Blackwell 2008), Diener, a University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, psychology professor and senior scientist for the Gallup Organization (he’s also known as the Jedi master of happiness studies), envisions a time when doctors’ common health questions to patients will include asking how happy, optimistic, and satisfied they are.
Happiness is not a destination; it is a way of life. Here are some happiness enhancing strategies for you:
- Acts of Kindness-Practice acts of kindness for friends or strangers.
- Activity-Do more activities that truly engage you. Increase the number of experiences at home and at work in which you “lose” yourself.
- Attitude of Gratitude-Live each day with an attitude of gratitude. Focus on what is great in your life through contemplation, journaling, or verbally sharing your appreciation for others.
- Beliefs-Upgrade your beliefs. What negative beliefs do you hold on yourself, your life, and your future? What new positive beliefs can you replace those old, stale beliefs with?
- Choose to Forgive-Let go of anger and resentment! Forgiving can sometimes be tricky business, but once you master it, you will free yourself!
- Cognitive Strategies-It’s all about thought and if you are finding yourself unhappy, it may be time to upgrade negative thinking patterns. Target black and white thinking, being a drama queen, taking things personally, perfectionism, assuming the worst, you get the idea.
- Commit-Commit to your goals. Select several significant, meaningful goals and devote time and effort to pursuing them.
- Cultivate Nurturing Relationships-Choose a relationship that is in need of strengthening and invest time and energy in healing, affirming, and enjoying it.
- Engage in Mood Boosters-For times when things go wrong or you feel down, have a list of little pleasures for cheering yourself up. Build a mood-boosting inventory!
- Focus on your Strengths-Think about your particular strengths (ask a friend if you’re not sure what they are).
- Optimism-Adapt a “glass half full” thinking strategy. One way of doing this is through keeping a journal and writing about the best possible future for the character of you.
What ways are you going to adopt now to enhance your happiness quotient? Don’t forget, Halloween is right around the corner. If, by then, you haven’t found happiness, perhaps you can disguise yourself as someone who has!